Dear Just Be: I have hopped on the social media band wagon, but don’t know how to begin.

When you first open an account on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc., it can be overwhelming to learn how to maneuver throughout the sites and learn what the sites can do for you. Once you have learned how the sites operate the next steps, and most important steps, are learning the etiquette of using the sites and more specifically what to say on the sites.

I think it is a little scary that anything you post is out there for the entire world to read. Keep in mind when posting content, whether that is your thoughts, comments, quotes, links, or pictures, these posts don’t go away - even if you hit remove or delete. They are forever floating out in cyberspace. You just need the right person to find them and pull them in, and things you posted years ago can come back to haunt you. Think about that too when you are posting a comment on someone else’s Facebook or Twitter account. This leads to the point of being considerate of what you say.

Keep in mind that the intention behind a comment or posting may not come through in the manner in which you intend. For example, you post a joke on your best friend’s Facebook wall, but the joke doesn’t come off so clearly to others which lead them to have the wrong impression about you and your best friend. The power of words only makes up 7% of our total communication image. Tone, inflection and body language make up the remaining 93% of how people interpret what we say. Simply put, think before you post. The unfortunate thing about Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn is that the way many people use them there becomes a mixing of worlds- family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances are all reading the same thing. In person I am sure you say or mention things to your friends that you wouldn’t want your colleagues or family to hear you say. This is probably not as much of an issue with LinkedIn because it is more geared towards professional connections, but still, always thinks before you post.

Thinking before you post is especially important when it comes to life changing moments: pregnancies, marriages, divorces, jobs, etc (this is the etiquette part of using social media). If your friend Jane told you at coffee that she is pregnant but hasn’t posted anything about this on her Facebook or Twitter page then YOU SHOULD NOT post or comment on this news on her Facebook or Twitter page. It would only be acceptable to do so when Jane makes a comment or posts a picture about this life changing moment herself. And Jane might not post anything about this happy occasion because she may not want all 250 people connected to her on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn to know about it. The other thing to consider is she is telling people the news at her own pace, so don’t ruin the surprise for her. Also, DON’T announce big life changing moments on any of these social media tools before telling people in person. Granted it saves you time by being able to say it once and wait for others to comment, but it really is impersonal and you are sure to offend someone if not a couple someone’s for not taking the time to share your big news with them one on one. Remember, not everyone participates in social media. Also be considerate when tagging people in pictures. A picture of an occasion might be an occasion where someone doesn’t want others to know they were at. Ask people if it is ok that you tag their name to a picture before doing so.

Furthermore, don’t use these tools as your diary. You might have had a horrible breakup, divorce or employer, but don’t air your dirty laundry. People who could or can read this may be a legal representative, your employer or future employer. What’s more, people will at first find this unfortunate, but the longer you post comments on the situation it just comes off as depressing which can lead to people disconnecting from you online and in person.

You may not think so, but what you post and how often you post say a lot about you. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc., are a way of branding yourself. Think about all the companies and celebrities that are using these tools to market. Bottom line, you need to think about what you post. Consider how the post will reflect upon you as well as others. If you are unsure on the appropriateness of what you are about to post, then don’t post. This may seem like I am taking the enjoyment out of using social media, but thinking before you post will take you a long way, and in a good way.